I kind of gave up on mine after I ended up in daycare, 'cause it wasn't like we could get vouchers anymore. But then I did one by accident, and it turned out we got items for doing them over there?
[she shrugs]
I've got something that can make someone start acting flirtatious, something that can make two people affectionate to each other, and something that can turn someone into a goose. I can't say I'm not tempted to use it on that dumb voice if we find it...
Oh? I have something to use on the voice too... So long as it has a solid form. You never got to see my God Card when we played last, but... I can summon it in this realm now.
It isn't as powerful as it would normally be, but I had to make that sacrifice to be able to summon it at all... I get one attack, but that should be enough. [ he is very smug about this ]
Then again, knowing the types of people that are here, I'm sure they'll want me to negotiate and be its friend instead.
A lot has happened, and I don't think I can change for the better. What I've already done... I already know what's waiting for me in the end. Suddenly pretending to care about these other selfish people isn't going to make a difference.
[this is the part where normally she'd agree, but. but. unfortunately, she had some halfway decent influences in the graveyard.]
Selfish people can be pretty stubborn when they've decided they care about you! And it kind of seems like some of them did. So, y'know. Just be you, and I'm sure it'll be fine.
That's the problem. I'm not a good person. And in the end, when I die, I'm not going to pass judgement. So... it doesn't matter which path I choose, because the ending will be the same.
[ he's quiet for a moment. ] I don't want people to care about me.
Dummy. You're not the one who gets to decide whether people care about you or not. And also, you never know? Things could turn out differently. You're only sixteen, that's pretty young. [ma'am you're younger.] And if you are going to go to Egyptian hell or whatever, why not just live your best life now so you can enjoy the time you have?
Because I'll never see these people after I graduate.
[ he doesn't want to admit it, but he does like some people here, in varying degrees. Several of them have gone out of their way to even express that, against all odds, they care about him and wouldn't want anything to happen to him. He thinks about the not once, not twice, but MULTIPLE times he has been told: you make bad choices, but you're not a bad person. And how is he supposed to deal with that when he believes the opposite?? STOP BEING NICE TO HIM HE HATES IT. ]
You don't know that for sure. If we could all end up in this godforsaken place, that means there's something connecting our worlds to here. Which means our worlds are connected to each other, too.
And even if that closes up after we get out of here, there are things to get around that. There's an artifact in my world that I'm pretty sure lets you jump between worlds. It'd just be a matter of tracking it down and taking it from the person who has it right now.
[...]
Ugh, I can't believe I'm giving you a pep talk. Just don't give up or whatever, okay? Giving up doesn't feel like something you should be doing.
They wouldn't have been the same. I didn't really have anyone before coming here. Now I can't get them to go away.
[ sure, he had rishid, who he is deeply bonded to, but- rishid alone couldn't stop malik's descent into his hellbent obsession with revenge ]
You know... I kept thinking that being in this place was a punishment. In a way, I still think it is. However, it could have been fate that brought us here for more than one reason. I still don't think I deserve it, but since I can't undo anything, we just have to live with it... These other influences outside of our control, that's pushing back against all the evil deeds that we've done. The universe wants to balance itself, and maybe this is what it's been trying to accomplish this whole time.
...well, if it was trying to balance itself - it probably says something that you survived this long despite everything.
[she reaches over to flick his nose, like a little shit.]
Like, maybe this is the universe's way of telling you to stop being so down on yourself? You've been who you are this whole time, and like... yeah, there were definitely some parts that sucked, but it's letting you be who you are.
The week they all suspected me of murder... I only brought the Millennium Rod with me to trial so I could have stabbed Beauregard to death if she got near me. Of course, that's not how it worked out, but...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ a beat. ]
Well, only one I did on purpose. But it wasn't for the greater good or anything like that.
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[she shrugs]
I've got something that can make someone start acting flirtatious, something that can make two people affectionate to each other, and something that can turn someone into a goose. I can't say I'm not tempted to use it on that dumb voice if we find it...
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[let! her! see! the god card!! in person!!]
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Then again, knowing the types of people that are here, I'm sure they'll want me to negotiate and be its friend instead.
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Then again, I guess that leaves me no choice but to act on my own.
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A lot has happened, and I don't think I can change for the better. What I've already done... I already know what's waiting for me in the end. Suddenly pretending to care about these other selfish people isn't going to make a difference.
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Selfish people can be pretty stubborn when they've decided they care about you! And it kind of seems like some of them did. So, y'know. Just be you, and I'm sure it'll be fine.
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That's the problem. I'm not a good person. And in the end, when I die, I'm not going to pass judgement. So... it doesn't matter which path I choose, because the ending will be the same.
[ he's quiet for a moment. ] I don't want people to care about me.
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[she shoves him. lightly.]
Dummy. You're not the one who gets to decide whether people care about you or not. And also, you never know? Things could turn out differently. You're only sixteen, that's pretty young. [ma'am you're younger.] And if you are going to go to Egyptian hell or whatever, why not just live your best life now so you can enjoy the time you have?
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Because I'll never see these people after I graduate.
[ he doesn't want to admit it, but he does like some people here, in varying degrees. Several of them have gone out of their way to even express that, against all odds, they care about him and wouldn't want anything to happen to him. He thinks about the not once, not twice, but MULTIPLE times he has been told: you make bad choices, but you're not a bad person. And how is he supposed to deal with that when he believes the opposite?? STOP BEING NICE TO HIM HE HATES IT. ]
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And even if that closes up after we get out of here, there are things to get around that. There's an artifact in my world that I'm pretty sure lets you jump between worlds. It'd just be a matter of tracking it down and taking it from the person who has it right now.
[...]
Ugh, I can't believe I'm giving you a pep talk. Just don't give up or whatever, okay? Giving up doesn't feel like something you should be doing.
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I never asked you for a pep talk, you did that on your own... Not that I expected it from you, either. Being dead changed you that much?
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[but at that question, there's a brief, slightly panicked thought - has it?]
...I was really mad at first, when I ended up over there. And some of them saw some pretty awful parts of me, but... they still accepted me anyway.
[she sounds a little lost.]
It... wasn't what I expected.
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I did some bad things... Told some people about what I did before I got here, and they still wanted to accept me. I don't know why.
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[pretend her icon is still transformed]
I wonder what things would've been like if I'd met people like this before coming here.
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[ sure, he had rishid, who he is deeply bonded to, but- rishid alone couldn't stop malik's descent into his hellbent obsession with revenge ]
You know... I kept thinking that being in this place was a punishment. In a way, I still think it is. However, it could have been fate that brought us here for more than one reason. I still don't think I deserve it, but since I can't undo anything, we just have to live with it... These other influences outside of our control, that's pushing back against all the evil deeds that we've done. The universe wants to balance itself, and maybe this is what it's been trying to accomplish this whole time.
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[she reaches over to flick his nose, like a little shit.]
Like, maybe this is the universe's way of telling you to stop being so down on yourself? You've been who you are this whole time, and like... yeah, there were definitely some parts that sucked, but it's letting you be who you are.
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I didn't kill anyone, even though I wanted to. So maybe... I'm getting another chance.
[ it's "you're right" but he doesn't want to give her the satisfaction of saying that ]
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[so like
yeah! some people deserve redemption arcs! malik is apparently one of them. lila, who seems totally unapologetic about her murder plot, is not.]
I guess it's better for everyone that I wasn't!
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The week they all suspected me of murder... I only brought the Millennium Rod with me to trial so I could have stabbed Beauregard to death if she got near me. Of course, that's not how it worked out, but...
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...I guess it turned out mostly okay in the end.
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We don't know for sure. We're still here, after all.
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