[her vibes are just kind of - well, muted, really. on the one hand, at least her usual Intense Anger isn't so present! ...on the other, she doesn't really seem to know what to feel?
...It's not the watching I'm worried about. I just - I didn't want to think anyone would...
[he sighs. there's a little pang of distress.]
I know that if the pattern holds up, it'll be - someone who wasn't in their right mind. So it probably wasn't their fault, whoever it was. But I just...
[there's a flash of that anger again, the kind she saw when he got so upset about people talking about a tie vote last week.]
Nobody here deserves this, but - she didn't, either. She was... forced into doing something she never wanted to do, something she agreed to because she wanted to help people even if meant doing something that caused her pain, too.
[putting byleth and the others into a situation where they have to kill, and making someone lose their good sense to force them to kill.
if they weren't here, they wouldn't be killing at all.]
It's awful that she died, and it's awful that she had to kill anyone else in the first place, but... at least now she won't have to do it anymore, right? [...] But that makes it harder on the others, too... and more dangerous for everyone.
...Yeah. I'm not letting it win. I'm not letting it repeat this again and again because it thinks it's fine to toy with our lives. All the ways people have suffered here... I'm not going to let that be in vain.
[there's a strong sense of determination to go along with that anger! but after a moment...]
Maybe. It's probably messed up, but things have been easier for me since I got here, so - I hope it means she can rest, too.
It depends who wins the auction, I guess... I'm willing to bet Beau and Caleb are going to be trying pretty hard so they can bring Molly back. But - I wouldn't be surprised if it were you, either. Everyone was really upset when you died.
I know I'm younger than a lot of people here, but... I've dealt with a lot back in my world! And... you're here, and Byleth is going to be here, and if they catch Otome or Luxanna or whoever else was invited, that's going to make things even harder, so...
[...]
I want to do something to stop all of this from continuing, too.
[distress! a lot of distress, but he tries to push it down.]
I don't think - I mean, I'm not trying to say people don't want your help. They probably do. But if it were you that came back, I think the way they would ask you to help is... probably more nonviolent than what they've been doing. It's not...
[there's another burst of grief, of guilt and regret, as he continues.]
I mean, I get it, you know? I was really determined to help people when I started. But it's... not like I thought it would be. I'm not trying to say you haven't been through a lot or that you aren't responsible or capable, but I think this is one of those things where - it's hard to know the toll it'll take until you've done it. I didn't realize, either.
[she's quiet for a few moments, and then she reaches over to pat his shoulder. there's a bit of a flare of anger in her vibes when he seems to be trying to talk her out of it, at first - but it ebbs away as he goes on.
it helps that she can feel how he's feeling, too. it makes it feel less condescending than it would if she couldn't.]
I know, but... I think this place is going to take a toll on us no matter what. I'd rather have a hand in it myself than just... know that people are out there trying to do something, but not do anything other than keep quiet about it so that the others don't figure that out. You know?
...Honestly, I'm not even sure if it works like that. I mean, we kind of had to gradually add more members so the world itself didn't notice, I'm pretty sure, so adding someone else in without getting permission might be a risk the same way that telling people what was going on would be.
[a beat, another moment of something close to sadness.]
But I don't - I mean, I wish there was more than one of those auction things. I know you said you think it'll be Mollymauk, but you deserve the chance to go back, too.
[well, she was going to say something - who knows what? maybe she was going to say "okay, i'll just do a bunch of solo kills then to help out!" - but rupert's follow-up throws her for a loop.
the muted vibes are replaced by feelings of complete shock, and there's something vaguely touched under them.]
[she seems surprised! she was fully ready to just kill manwol a different way until she got hit by that car, so it's not like she was trying to fight the whole "fight to the death" thing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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wow. murder.]
...that must've been hard to watch.
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[he sighs. there's a little pang of distress.]
I know that if the pattern holds up, it'll be - someone who wasn't in their right mind. So it probably wasn't their fault, whoever it was. But I just...
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She's your friend.
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[there's a flash of that anger again, the kind she saw when he got so upset about people talking about a tie vote last week.]
Nobody here deserves this, but - she didn't, either. She was... forced into doing something she never wanted to do, something she agreed to because she wanted to help people even if meant doing something that caused her pain, too.
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[putting byleth and the others into a situation where they have to kill, and making someone lose their good sense to force them to kill.
if they weren't here, they wouldn't be killing at all.]
It's awful that she died, and it's awful that she had to kill anyone else in the first place, but... at least now she won't have to do it anymore, right? [...] But that makes it harder on the others, too... and more dangerous for everyone.
What a mess.
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[there's a strong sense of determination to go along with that anger! but after a moment...]
Maybe. It's probably messed up, but things have been easier for me since I got here, so - I hope it means she can rest, too.
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[he's determined! that's good. ...there are some vaguely determined vibes coming from lila, actually. hm, maybe he's inspiring something in her?]
Actually, you know, I was thinking... who do you think they're going to bring back? With that item from the auction?
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It depends who wins the auction, I guess... I'm willing to bet Beau and Caleb are going to be trying pretty hard so they can bring Molly back. But - I wouldn't be surprised if it were you, either. Everyone was really upset when you died.
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[...]
But, if it's me... do you think your group would let me help them?
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I - wait, what? Why? Lila...
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[...]
I want to do something to stop all of this from continuing, too.
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[distress! a lot of distress, but he tries to push it down.]
I don't think - I mean, I'm not trying to say people don't want your help. They probably do. But if it were you that came back, I think the way they would ask you to help is... probably more nonviolent than what they've been doing. It's not...
[there's another burst of grief, of guilt and regret, as he continues.]
I mean, I get it, you know? I was really determined to help people when I started. But it's... not like I thought it would be. I'm not trying to say you haven't been through a lot or that you aren't responsible or capable, but I think this is one of those things where - it's hard to know the toll it'll take until you've done it. I didn't realize, either.
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[she's quiet for a few moments, and then she reaches over to pat his shoulder. there's a bit of a flare of anger in her vibes when he seems to be trying to talk her out of it, at first - but it ebbs away as he goes on.
it helps that she can feel how he's feeling, too. it makes it feel less condescending than it would if she couldn't.]
I know, but... I think this place is going to take a toll on us no matter what. I'd rather have a hand in it myself than just... know that people are out there trying to do something, but not do anything other than keep quiet about it so that the others don't figure that out. You know?
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[a beat, another moment of something close to sadness.]
But I don't - I mean, I wish there was more than one of those auction things. I know you said you think it'll be Mollymauk, but you deserve the chance to go back, too.
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the muted vibes are replaced by feelings of complete shock, and there's something vaguely touched under them.]
...you really think that?
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Of course I do.
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[she really does not seem to know how to respond to that. wow.]
I. [...] ...thanks. For saying that.
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[there's that same grief and guilt from a second ago!]
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so it's pity, then. there's some slight recognition in her vibes as she realizes that, and she looks down.]
Guess I should have listened to her and snapped her neck when she told me to.
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I think... I mean, maybe it wasn't the right move to not end up here, but - I think it's really admirable that you didn't listen.
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[she seems surprised! she was fully ready to just kill manwol a different way until she got hit by that car, so it's not like she was trying to fight the whole "fight to the death" thing.
she just didn't like being told what to do.]
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Of course I do.
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but she smiles.]
Thanks, Rupert.
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